Liam Payne's sister feels "homesick" for the life she had before his death.

The One Direction singer passed away in October 2024 at the age of 31 after falling from his hotel balcony in Argentina and now Ruth Gibbins has reflected on the 18 months since the tragedy and admitted she is "struggling" to live without him in her life.

She wrote on her Instagram Story: "18 months without you, it feels impossible to be a sentence, yet here we are.

"Healing is such a tricky thing to navigate. I can't return to who I was before, because grief has changed my outlook that I could never be that person again, but then I get sad Liam will never know me who appeared after his death.

"And then the main part of me is so homesick to go back to my before life, if it was an option given to me between that life or solve all the problems in the world forever, id always choose to go back to my life where my brother existed.

"Liam taught me so much in life, but he didn't teach me how to live without him and thats a lesson I'm really struggling to get to grips with."

Ruth believes her brother is watching over her and "willing" their family to live on.

She concluded: "Liam, I know you are all around me, especially in the last couple of weeks. I miss you more than my heart can handle, you should be here with us.

"I know you're willing us to live, I hope you can see all we're doing in your spirit."

Earlier this year, Ruth, 35, revealed she had got a tattoo in honour of her late brother.

She shared a photo collage on Instagram looking back on 2025, which included an inking on her arm reading "11,372 days", which is believed to be the length of the Strip That Down singer's life.

Also in Ruth's photo collage, she showed a tattoo of three hearts behind her right ear that symbolises herself, Liam and their sister, Nicola Payne.

Towards the end of December last year, Ruth admitted she "feels like all of him is being removed" after learning that a part of Liam's old school - St Peter's Collegiate Academy - in Wolverhampton, West Midlands, England, is being knocked down.

Taking to her Instagram Stories, she penned: "Hearing part of our senior school is being knocked down and having such clear memories of Liam waiting by my locker to ask for money off me all the time, feels like all of him is being removed from the planet, all the places we've been are changing and he's not here to change with them.

"A thousand tiny losses every single day."